Talking about the Rangers in 2022 is like a baby playing with that Fisher-Price toy called See N Say.
He pulls the string and same five sounds come out of it. Over and over and over and over and over again.
Pull the string. The dial spins and lands of the Farmer.
“The Farmers says, ‘We haven’t produced a pitching crop in like forever.’”
He pulls the string again. It lands on the Cow.
“The Cow says, ‘Moooove out of the way, Rangers, you’ve been passed for third place.’”
Pull the string. Get the Chicken.
“The Chicken says, ‘Being a poultry-based animal, I can see chicken BLEEP when I see it and the Rangers defense is chicken BLEEP.’”
Cleveland came into Arlington and pulled the Rangers’ string, winning 5-2 on the strength of three Rangers errors, sweeping the series and, in the carnage, clinching the the A.L. Central crown with the youngest team in baseball and the second fewest number of home runs.
They are winning because of their pitching.
Pull the string. It ends up on the Lamb.
“The Lamb says, ‘Lamb begins with an L. Rangers baseball ends with an L.’”
That annoying toy always seemed to get stuck on one slot too. Every time the string gets pulled, it spun around and landed on the same thing.
“The Lamb says, ‘Lamb begins with an L. Rangers baseball ends with an L.’”
“The Lamb says, ‘Lamb begins with an L. Rangers baseball ends with an L.’”
“The Lamb says, ‘Lamb begins with an L. Rangers baseball ends with an L.’”
It keeps saying the same thing again and again and again, no matter how many times you pull the string. And you just want to chuck it out the window.
*****