A MESSAGE FROM THE OFFICER OF THE COMMISSIONER OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

In a surprise move, Texas Rangers right fielder Adolis Garcia announced he is heading a group of investors who have purchased a 100 percent ownership interest in the Houston Astros.

“Owning the Astros is something that I started thinking about last October,” Garcia said through an interpreter. “I made the final decision before yesterday’s game while the Astros were in town.”

Garcia notes the final papers were signed in the second inning of yesterday’s 10-2 win.

“Owning the Astros just felt like the right thing to do,” Garcia added. 

Previous Astros owner Jim Crane was unavailable to the media but made a statement through the commissioner’s office: 

“I have loved my time as the principle owner of the Houston Astros. I felt was just time to assign official ownership of the club to Garcia. What he did to our team during the 2023 playoffs and now into this season, I can honestly say, I have never seen anything beaten this badly and this consitently since trashcan lids back in 2017.”

In an odd twist of fate, Garcia is playing the team he owns tonight.

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TODAY’S GAME: