Imagine a prize fight with both contestants in their 90s. And blind. And slightly incontinent. That’s what watching a Rangers-Mets game is like. 

In one corner, the Rangers, a team that is performing so much better than expected but is stuck in a deep offensive rut. In the other corner, the Mets, a team that is an abject failure and has been stuck in that rut all season.

Rut verses rut. Two wounded birds fighting over a dead worm. All the excitement of two Zambonis racing.

The Rangers are facing the Mets at the best time they could hope for. Finally, a team that is playing worse than they are. Finally, a team they can beat even with no offense and no bullpen.

Rangers fans would like to think Texas can use this three-day stay on Free Parking to get their offense going. But, that isn’t happening. All they can do is hope to get their fill of Ws as they are being handed out in the soup line. 

Last night, the Rangers offense generated just enough to win, thanks to a second straight day of dominating pitching. Andrew Heaney didn’t get far. But he was facing the Mets. He didn’t need to. He held New York scoreless through five-and-a-third. Then the clown car arrived with Rangers relievers. Somehow Stratton, Burke, and Smith kept the Mets off the board as a Garver homer in the seventh plated the first run of the game and a Duran single in the ninth plated the second. That was sorely needed. Because, Chapman.

Aroldis Chapman would allow his obligatory home run, but the Rangers anemic offense had just enough of a lead to overcome both Chapman and the Mets.

It was as if both prize fighters swung and missed so hard at the same time, they both fell down for the count. The Rangers were able to just lift their head for a brief moment as the ref in the ring counted nine.

A win is a win.

*****