CERTIFICATE OF DEATH This is to acknowledge the death of the 2017 Texas Rangers on the: 20th day of July, 2017 Time of death: 9:19 pm Location: Baltimore, Maryland Cause of death: Terminal sucking ***** TODAY’S GAME: Yu Darvish (6-8, 3.45) vs. Alex Cobb 8-6, 3.59) Game time: 6:10 How the […]
With the prospect looming tonight of his team being swept in Baltimore, and earning its fiftieth loss of the season, manager Jeff Banister shares his thoughts on the Rangers’ second-half chances. ***** TODAY’S GAME: Cole Hamels (4-0, 3.05) vs. Wade Miley (4-8, 5.40) Game time: 6:05 How the Rangers hit against Miley. […]
Well, the lead was fun while it lasted. Which was all of about ten minutes. After Shin-Soo Choo led off the game with a home run off the less-than-stellar Dylan Bundy, it looked like maybe the Rangers bats were going to come to life. The next three batters went […]
Ten runs, twenty-two hits. For a lot of teams, that’s a good game’s worth of work. For the Rangers, that’s the sum total of their offense for the first four games of the second half. Which is a shame, because the Rangers starting pitching those first four games has been […]
Rangers drop one to Kansas City. Rangers can’t catch a break against Royals. Sweep falls out of Rangers’ reach. Choo bobble heads day in KC. Rangers stumble back under .500. Rangers draw Royal flush in KC. The clichés drop from the sky like a Lorenzo Cain’s fly ball drops […]
The Rangers incredible undefeated season continues with a dominating shutout victory over the winless Kansas City Royals, 1-0, in Kaufman Stadium. The Royals are now the new Astros, the Rangers Free Parking/Guaranteed Win/ Patsy team, having defeated Kansas City twelve games in a row. Texas pitching continued its early season […]
Nike had an ad campaign back in 1990s, “Chicks dig the long ball.” That was 1999. In 2017, it seems everybody digs the long ball. Major League hitters are on pace to hit 6,181 home runs this season, which would shatter the previous record set in 2000 of 5,693. […]
Last season the Rangers and Cubs each won their respective divisions. Each team had the best record in their respective leagues. The Cubs, of course, went on to win the World Series. The Rangers, as we are all painfully aware of, dropped their meat in the dirt early, being […]
I have a house. It’s built over a toxic waste dump. Nobody knows that, though. I should probably sell it before anyone finds out. If I sell it, I can make a huge profit and walk away before it is too late. Then I can use that money to buy a better house. […]
Robinson Cano hit a home run in the top of the tenth inning to win the Ranger-less All-Star Game for the American League. That pulled them even with the National League at 44-44. It only took them 88 years to get to .500. So, please, be patient with the Rangers […]
