Sometimes, when a person is fired from his job, he pulls one last prank that is so monumental it’s unforgettable.
There’s the story of a guy who got fired and, when he went to get boxes to pack up his stuff, got a fish from a fish market and threw it up above the ceiling tiles in his office, where it sat for weeks, slowly stinking up the office to the point where the dead fish smell was unbearable. And nobody knew where it was coming from for weeks.
One guy got fired and proceeded to unplug every piece of electronics in the office and remove every batteries out of everything that was battery powered. It was annoying to be sure.
While juvenile and possibly illegal, those pranks were at least an attempt at something smarter than the standard defecating on your boss’s desk on your way out.
So, with that in mind, you can’t help wondering if Chris Woodward pulled one final, grand prank when he was relieved of his duties Monday as Rangers manager.
As he left to go get boxes, he snuck back into the coaches room and, in one last middle finger to the Rangers organization, he wrote in Kohei Arihara’s name as the Rangers starting pitcher Tuesday on the big white erase board. Tony Beasley came in, saw Arihara’s name, and started him on Tuesday.
That has to be the only logical explanation for why Arihara got the start last night.
Arihara labored through ten brutal starts last season with Texas, going 2-4 with a 6.64 ERA and a dreadful 1.426 WHIP before finally being banished to the minor leagues.
His name was never once mentioned as a possible replacement for all the failing starters in the Rangers rotation. He was so far off the radar that Monday night, when Rangers radio announcer Jared Sandler announced that Arihara would be Tuesday night’s starter, both Eric Nadel and Brad Hicks reacted like he had just announced ferrets had taken over the United States government.
Arihara helped Oakland snap its nine-game losing streak. And Aihara helped new Rangers manager Tony Beasley snap his one-game winning streak, as the Athletics beat the Rangers 5-1.
And somewhere, Chris Woodward got in the last laugh from his parting prank.
He also left behind his copy of Running the Bases for Dummies. That, though, was less of a prank and more of a reason why he got fired.