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Breaking news: Jesse Chavez is a Ranger.

(A brief moment as the mock fanfare blares.)

The Rangers reportedly added Chavez on a minor-league contract.

Chavez is probably best known for being serviceable. That might be a backhanded compliment most years but this year being serviceable immediately makes Chavez a candidate for the number-two slot in the Rangers rotation.

The 34-year-old right-hander has been a starter and a reliever in his mostly unremarkable career. Last year, in fact, he made 21 starts and came out of the pen 17 times with the Angels. Overall, his ERA was 5.35. He struck out 119 hitters in 138 innings.

Basically, he got his team through 2017. If he makes the Rangers, his job will be to get them through 2018.

Originally drafted by the Ranges in 2002, Chavez was dealt to Pittsburgh in 2006 for Kip Wells. His ten-year major league career is the very definition of journeyman. He’s made stops in Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Kansas City, Toronto, Oakland, and both LA teams. He was primarily a reliever until he got to Oakland, who, desperate for starters, moved him into the rotation in 2014. He’s been a dependable if unspectacular starter ever since.

He’s never had a winning record in any season. He’s had an ERA under 4.00 just twice. For his career, it’s 4.69.

He’s a scrappy pitcher who always seems to land somewhere. Right now, he landed on the Rangers pile. He joins an over-crowded batch of so-so pitchers vying for a slot in either the rotation or the bullpen.

There’s no definition this spring. It’s Jon Daniels’s “throw a bowl of spaghetti on the wall and see what sticks” approach to building a pitching staff.

If Chavez makes the rotation, he wouldn’t make it better. Sadly, he wouldn’t make it worse, either.

Welcome, Jesse Chavez.

(Lamest of kazoos plays.)