W.P.P. 135 comments

In honor of Robbie Ross, Jr., being traded to Boston, here is a re-post from September 5, 2014, after a particularly brutal night on the mound. Perhaps I was too harsh on him, but it was a brutal time to be a Rangers fan. By the way, this was also the day Ron Washington resigned. Good luck in Beantown, Robbie.




The crime statistics are staggering. Six earned runs in less than two innings.

We have seen too much for our own good.

I would like to nominate Robbie Ross for the Witness Protection Program.

Robbie, it’s time for you to go as far away as possible from a Major League starting rotation. Live your life in anonymity. Take up gardening or lawn Jarts or curling. You like to give away things, like runs. Be a philanthropist.

As a starting pitcher, you are an assassin. We have seen what you did. You are a hit man of victories. You have killed many Rangers fans hopes and dreams. You must disappear now.

Go. Change your identity.

Maybe to something that nobody would every suspect. Maybe to Tanner Scheppers. Or, take on an international persona and change it to Chan Ho Park. Or how about just a go as a butcher from the Midwest and call yourself Mark Clark?

Those are my suggestions. Just never show up on that mound again.

You will thank me for this advice later. Millions will.