Finally, the Rangers offense showed up last night. In historic fashion.

It lasted all of two batters. But, it showed up. And it was spectacular.

Marcus Semien walked. Corey Seager homered. The Rangers were up 2-0.

Then, having accomplished a feat that will never in the history of baseball be bettered, the Rangers packed it up and went home. What more was there to do?

They had had enough. They were tired from all that scoring two runs after two batters and just wanted to get back to the hotel, get some room service, and watch new episodes of Love Island while they soaked in a long bubble bath and contemplated their offensive outpouring those first two batters.

Their memories were fresh with delight. Two batters, two runs. Can it get any better than that? Can it get any more productive that that?

Imagine how amazing the Rangers can be the rest of the way out if they can score two runs after two batters every game. 

Perhaps they can dream of scoring—gasp!—three runs. Three. Runs. In. A. Single. Game. There are tales of such things but Rangers fans don’t believe it.

Okay, it’s a pipe dream, but they can imagine it while taking that long bubble bath of victory.

They scored two runs after two batters. It’s impossible to do better than that. In the history of baseball, no team has ever scored more runs after the first two batters than that in any game.

Baseball has been played professionally since 1876. According to historians, some 175,978 major league baseball games have been played.

In all that time, no team has scored more runs after two batters than the Texas Rangers did last night.

What a glorious game it was. Until after those first two batters.

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TODAY’S GAME: