Some people never learn. 324 comments

Where victories go to die. Sam Dyson is 0-4, with three blown saves, an ERA of 12.66, and a WHIP of 2.44. For some reason he is still handed the keys when the game is on the line.


I let my buddy Sam borrow my car a while ago. He had some errands to run so I let him take it. That’s what friends do.

When he brought it back, the car was totaled. A complete loss. I asked him what happened and he said, “Oh, sorry, I sideswiped a concrete barrier. I guess I didn’t see it.”

Well, he’s a good guy, been a good friend for a while, saved my butt on a number of occasions, so I chalked it up to one of those things.

So, I got a new car. Wouldn’t you know it, a few days later, Sam borrowed that car. He had a job interview.

When he brought it back, the front bumper was so smashed in I’m pretty sure he ran into a tree.

“I’m pretty sure I ran into a tree,” Sam explained.

Wow, he sure does have a lot of bad luck! That car, too, was totaled. So, I got a new car. He borrowed it a few days later to take out a date.

When he brought it back, it looked like it had been run through one of those car crushers.

I asked what happened. He said it must have been when he valeted it. He must be jinxed, I thought.

I got another new car. A few days later Sam totaled that one getting onto the interstate.

My insurance guy called me up and said, “You have got to quit letting your idiot friend Sam drive your car. It’s costing you a fortune. Is this guy drunk when he gets behind the wheel of your car or something?”

I was offended by that accusation against my friend. Sam is completely blind in both eyes and would never compound that by impairing his judgment from drinking.

But that did get me thinking. Is Sam an idiot for constantly totaling my car? Or am I an idiot for letting him borrow it?

Hang on, the phone is ringing. It’s Sam. Gee, I hope he didn’t total my car again.


Nick Martinez (0-1, 4.91) vs. Trevor Cahill (2-2, 3.60)
Game time: 9:10

How the Rangers hit against Cahill.
How the Padres hit against Martinez.