Lost in the news about the stupid sign stealing and the suspensions and firing of the stupid manager of the Astros and the stupid general manager of the Astros and the stupid manager of the Red Sox was an even stupider story.

A Federal judge threw out the case of Garrison Lassiter on Monday. 

If you don’t know about this case, consider yourself lucky. In the long and storied history of idiots in sports, Garrison Lassiter might top the list. 

Lassiter played shortstop in the New York Yankees farm system. He was chosen in the twenty-seventh round of the 2008 draft. 

Let’s be clear here. He was not drafted twenty-seventh. He was drafted in the twenty-seventh round. That’s usually reserved for favor picks where a team selects the one-legged nephew of a clubhouse employee or something as a gesture of good will. 

Lassiter played like a twenty-seventh round pick. In his five minor league seasons, never rising above High-A-Level ball, he hit .244 with four home runs and 73 runs batted in. That is over five seasons. 

In a word, he sucked.

And in another word, he is delusional.

Lassiter recently sued the New York Yankees and Derek Jeter for $35 million dollars in lost wages he claimed he would have made had Jeter not “conspired with the Yankees” to keep Lassiter from making the major league team and taking Jeter’s job. 

Specifically, he sued the Yankees for the “interference and lost years” of his career caused by Derek Jeter, who, he claims, “had control over the entire organization.”

Mental illness is a sad thing.

Lassiter was so incensed, in fact, that after he retired from baseball, or, in his mind, was forced out by a jealous Derek Jeter, he got a law degree and represented himself in his suit against the Yankees.

He lawyers as well as he baseballs.

His lawsuit was, mercifully, dismissed. Immediately upon which he sued the Cincinnati Reds for $1.653 million for three years of lost wages as a minor leaguer that were denied to him because his age preventing him from trying out for the team. The Reds have a policy that “hopeful players be between the ages of 16 to 22.” He was 30 and was not offered a try out.

That is a clear case of age discrimination. Well, at least that is what Lassiter is claiming.

Most of the news in baseball right now is sad and stupid.

Thank you, Garrison Lassiter for making this just stupid. Thank you for stealing the attention away from sign stealing.

And don’t sue Rangers Rounding 3rd for defamation of character. That assumes you have character.