The Texas hammers.

Seager & Heim represented last night, driving in eight of the Rangers ten runs.

Seager & Heim.

Sounds like one of those law firms that screams at you from your TV telling you how many millions they can get for some frivolous lawsuit and calling themselves the hammer from Texas or the heavy hitters of justice or some other silly slogan, as if you’d want guys like that representing you in a court of law.

Last night Seager and Heim were the actual Texas hammers. They brought justice to the reining MVP and the rest of the shell-shocked pitchers the Angels tried to run past the Rangers.

Combined, Corey Seager and Jonah Heim accounted for eight of the nine runs batted in. (The Rangers scored ten runs, one was on an error so Mitch Garver didn’t the RBI for that one.)

But it wasn’t just a two-man show last night. Every Rangers starter got a hit. Brad Miller got one. Marcus Semien, one. Seager, two. Garver, one. Nathanial Lowe picked up two hits. Adolis Garcia, one. Even the Calhouns got a hit each. Heim got three.

That is about as well-balanced of an offense as anyone can ask for. And when it got to crunch time, Seager and Heim stepped up. Heim hit a grand slam off Shohei Ohtani in the second to give the Rangers their first four runs, and a lead they would not relinquish. Then, in the fourth, he singled in the Rangers fifth run, and his fifth RBI, of the game. Seager slammed his first Rangers home run later in that same inning, a two-run shot. The next inning, Seager drove in Heim.

The encouraging thing is, the Rangers have a number of hitters who are capable of stepping up and carrying the team for the night.

Offense is fun.

The Rangers should have thought of this a long time ago. 

“If you or someone you love has been harmed in a horrible baseball accident and your fanbase is suffering needlessly for years on end, someone should pay. And pay they will. Call the offices of Seager & Heim. We will get you the justice you deserve.”