Early on in yesterday’s game, while Spencer Howard was still on the mound generously gifting runs to the Indians, the Rangers announcers said they think Howard can be useful in certain roles in 2022.
Here is a complete list of those such roles:
1. If you’re trying to determine if you have an offense with the firepower to come back after your team has been buried in a huge hole, there’s nobody better than Spencer Howard for the job. He routinely runs drills where he gives up a ton of run to the opposing team early as a way of letting his team know the joy of bonding together as a cohesive unit to overcome challenges. Many corporations pay good money for team building exercises like this.
2. If your bullpen has been underworked and could use some really solid innings to get back in the groove, there’s nobody better than Spencer Howard. He unselfishly gives the bullpen the opportunity to get in six or seven innings of work. Spencer Howard does not mind sharing innings.
3. If it’s Bring Your Child to Work day at the ballpark and the scoreboard operator wants to give his kid something fun to do, that’s the ideal role for Spencer Howard. Your kid will get plenty of enjoyment pushing the R button and watching those opposing team’s Runs numbers pile up. Maybe even install a bell to add to the enjoyment. Ding ding ding ding. “Throw another pitch, Mr. Howard.” Ding ding ding. “That’s three more runs. This is is fun.”
4. If you’re breaking in a new scorekeeper and you’re looking for challenging exercises to give him or her as a way to test their scorekeeping acumen, there is no better pitcher to put on the mound than Spencer Howard. He will give you so many opportunities to test the ERA calculation skills of those up and coming young scorekeepers. They will never discover numbers they never knew existed, all thanks to Howard.
5. If you’re assembling a rotation that will pretty much guarantee you a top-four draft pick in the 2023 draft, there is no better role for Spencer Howard. Give him thirty starts and see how high that draft pick coming your way can be.